Not in Service

June 29, 2016 ; 3:00 a.m.

Here we go again,

A delightful afternoon when suddenly, the phone rang.

My heart beat faster as I see your name

I wonder in confusion, why today?


I still have no words, I still have no guts.

Why are you still calling after what you’ve done?

I look away and try not to see.

I get anxious every second I perceive the phone ring.


You may hear the sound of a deafening beep,

And you’ve probably heard the woman speak,

“The number you have dialed is not yet in service,

Please try again in another week.”


I don’t understand why I feel so much guilt,

You make my mind wander the darkest labyrinth.

Yet I know one thing every time it transmits,

If it’s from you, ignorance is bliss.


Okay, okay. I know. I don’t know if what I did was right. huhu. *crying emoji* But hey, it’s a poem. I think? Is this considered one?  Meh. Anyways, I hope this made sense. This was in my drafts for weeks now and I was hesitant to post it, but taaa-daaaa~ here it is. It has flaws ’cause your girl ain’t perfect. hahahahaha. Hope you enjoyed.

“The nations have fallen into the pit they have dug; their feet are caught in the net they have hidden.” Psalm 9:15


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Messy Mind

At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you.

John 14:20

I can’t focus on anything right now. There are so many questions that devour my mind. Questions that are fervent, that words cannot suffice. There are so many little things to question in life and I cannot understand why these vast ones pop in mind. They don’t let me sleep. Thinking about it exhausts me. Thinking about it confuses me. Questions like this come in the most unexpected times, too. Life struck hard. Yet, be calm.

Be calm. Stay calm. Trust in your faith.

Be calm. Stay calm. Everything’s going to be okay.

Be calm. Stay calm. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Be calm. Stay calm. Let your mind rest for awhile.

Let your fear move back and your light come forward.

Let your heart beat in time and your feet on the ground.

Let everything pass by and then gather yourself up.

Let patience and kindness guide you through your path.


Does your mind play tricks on you sometimes too? My mind these past few days seem to think about lots of things. Especially things that make people question life. Why is that anyways? This blog post made me feel as light as a feather. I’m glad I got it out of my system. I tried to organize my mind and my emotions today, I hope it won’t get messy soon enough.

Remember to fight your battles, win or lose. Do your best and be happy. Surround yourself with happy thoughts. Happiness is key.

“I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”

Psalm 16:8


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UPDATE: I was scrolling through Facebook and found an article which summed up what I feel. It also captured what I want to say. It’s great, check it out: WHAT HAPPENS IN YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES AND THINK ABOUT LIVING?

“You’re not superman girl, you need to relax.”

6:00 p.m.

God Knows Everything

Psalm 139 (NCV)

God Knows Everything

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

139 Lord, you have examined me
    and know all about me.
You know when I sit down and when I get up.
    You know my thoughts before I think them.
You know where I go and where I lie down.
    You know everything I do.
Lord, even before I say a word,
    you already know it.
You are all around me—in front and in back—
    and have put your hand on me.
Your knowledge is amazing to me;
    it is more than I can understand.

Where can I go to get away from your Spirit?
    Where can I run from you?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there.
    If I lie down in the grave, you are there.
If I rise with the sun in the east
    and settle in the west beyond the sea,
10 even there you would guide me.
    With your right hand, you would hold me.

11 I could say, “The darkness will hide me.
    Let the light around me turn into night.”
12 But even the darkness is not dark to you.
    The night is as light as the day;
    darkness and light are the same to you.

13 You made my whole being;
    you formed me in my mother’s body.
14 I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way.
    What you have done is wonderful.
    I know this very well.
15 You saw my bones being formed
    as I took shape in my mother’s body.
When I was put together there,
16 you saw my body as it was formed.
All the days planned for me
    were written in your book
    before I was one day old.

17 God, your thoughts are precious to me.
    They are so many!
18 If I could count them,
    they would be more than all the grains of sand.
When I wake up,
    I am still with you.

19 God, I wish you would kill the wicked!
    Get away from me, you murderers!
20 They say evil things about you.
    Your enemies use your name thoughtlessly.
21 Lord, I hate those who hate you;
    I hate those who rise up against you.
22 I feel only hate for them;
    they are my enemies.

23 God, examine me and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any bad thing in me.
    Lead me on the road to everlasting life.

God knows everything. He will do everything. Remember that you are not alone. Never alone in His presence. Keep you faith and trust in Him. He loves you.


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An Expression

Be still my heart and know
that the Lord is always with you.
He will never leave you nor forsake you.
In times of troubles, come unto Him.
In times of peace, come unto Him.

Be still my heart and know the Lord.
He is the Messiah and the Jehovah.
Your Saviour and your Friend.
He will guard your heart and protect your soul.
He is the God that knows everything you don’t know.

Be still my heart and have faith.
Trust in Him in everything.
Be still my heart and pray
because His love is never-ending.
Be still my heart then take a breath and
He will make the rest
beautiful and the best,
amazing and perfect and blessed.

This is a tranquilizer, it’s just a thought. Calming my heart. Calming my soul. Trying. Goodnight.

May 15, 2016//12:44 am


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